Here

Is where it happens

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Is it supposed to hurt when you want to tell someone that you want them to be happy?
That is what everyone wants right? And it’s you’re supposed to mean it, right?

I’d like to say, “Hey, I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to cause the pain that I did. Everything. I just want you to be happy… Even though it’s without me.”
But, we are better apart. I know this. We both know this. 
And, and I am happy. I am so happy. So I don’t know why I hurt so much because it wasn’t the same at all.
Am I just trying to dwell on something? Anything? 

There is no reason or logic behind it. 

Filed under personal happy birthday happy anniversary torn i think too much

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To be perfectly honest…

I dont know why everything changes so quickly. Why all of the sudden I get this feeling where nothing matters, where I don’t matter.
I feel that I could fall, eternally into nothingness.
I feel that I want to grasp for things that I can never reach, aim for things I can never achieve.

I hope its just the evening, but there is no merit for this feeling what so ever.
Nothing really can cross my mind to answer the burning questions in my mind. 

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I want someone who will take joy in doing things together.
For once, I’d like to be on the receiving end of things. I am growing tired of giving and giving, just not to feel appreciated in  return. 

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Got my schedule for next week…
It’s next week!
Working mon, tue, and wed, then off on thursday to most likely get everything together.
Then on friday…. I will be in LA!

God. I can’t wait.
9 days 13 hours.

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I just want to politely say, Fuck you.

First let me tell you why: You cannot just assume that if someone decides to get into a long distance relationship that they are going to cheat on the other party.
You cannot tell someone to make sure that I do not get into a long distance relationship because I will cheat on him.
For you information, when I was in my last long distance relationship, I did nothing to make people think that I was cheating on him. I did not start talking, seeing, or doing anything with a member of the opposite sex until we were completely over with.
Unlike you. And he only lived five minutes away.

Second: I am a fucking grown up. I do not live with my parents anymore, so I do not need someone trying to take their place. I can make my own choices. I can take care of myself. And I know for a fact that you are just saying these things to people to start things. I know good and well you are not saying these things because you care.

So mind your own fucking business. Get the fuck out of my life. I do not want you a part of it, because you clearly made it that way before, so stop trying to butt back in.
Fuck you, you skank ass whore.

Filed under angry rant me personal fuck